It's been quite some time since I've gotten around to posting. Recently, my life's been expanding way more rapidly than I can keep up with it, and occasionally it's been seemingly impossible to handle. Neck deep in the chapters of recovery, my body and mind tend to find themselves immersed in anxiety. Before my history with my disorder, anxiety hardly whispered its way into my life whatsoever and I rarely suffered from indecision or anticipation of things to come. However, once my only known coping mechanism for external stress and anxiety was taken away from me through recovery, I found myself at a loss for means to channel pent up pressure and stress. Recovery itself sometimes feels like a song I don't want to hear, and I turn away from it entirely and try to carry on "normally".
But sometimes you have to be patient with yourself. I know I do. By harboring pent up pressure like a kettle set on blast, one can let anxiety take a toll on their body and make them physically sick! There is published research which draws the connection between eating disorders and anxiety disorders, as well as Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. As dramatic as it may sound, it's reality for 40 million Americans who suffer from anxiety disorders as well as other problems battling anxiety.
Despite things you may have read or heard throughout your own personal trek, there are many misconceptions associated with anxiety and anxiety disorders, but it's pressing that you know pursuing treatment through means of talk therapy and/or medication does not make you LESS of a person. You're spectacular and you're doing what is best for your body and your mind so that you can lead out your life without fear holding you hostage. You still have the potential and the ability to achieve your dreams and truly thrive.
This may not seem attainable at each moment of each and everyday, and hey, it may take more than a few sentences in some Texas girl's blog to convince you, but as long as you keep striving to take the necessary steps toward your health, your comfort and joy will follow. Trust me, I'm in the process of taking my own advice!
Like I said earlier, patience patience P A T I E N C E.
Your body and your mind are very important; they are delicate and intricately engineered gifts that each of us possess and tend to neglect every so often. In order to establish bonds with others, it's vital that you respond and tend to your own personal needs. As humans, we grow so accustomed to ignoring our bodies in exchange for our whirling agendas and our spiraling schedules.
We rarely nurture or treat ourselves like what we essentially are:
G I F T S!
We are a perfect and breathtaking composition of eyelashes and skin rashes;
of molecules and follicles;
fingerprints and freckled skin;
elbows and eyebrows;
and all things that don't rhyme but were created and established in the immaculate essence of love itself.
We have the ability to love as an action but we also have the freedom to experience it as an essence rather than a substance. But in order to successfully spread our love into the lives of others, we must start with the flawless composition we know best: ourselves.
So, as an experiment, do things you need to do for yourself. Do them FIRST. And yes, you have full permission to love yourself first. This is not a selfish act. Others will cumulatively benefit if you adore yourself the way you want them to. If it helps, think of it in a counter manner; what do you expect others to see in you if you're not impressed or amazed at what you see?
I'm proclaiming more patience this time around. I know what's best for me, and I know what I'm prepared for and what I'm still working toward. I'm giving myself time to grow and live in the moment. I'm proclaiming my attempt at self-love.
W E G O T T H I S
This is Ruby, and she's just too cute, so she gets to make a cameo.