Driving home! Woot! I have to say: this past two weeks have been pretty splendid. I was able to travel from our little east Texas town all the way to Seattle and alongside the coast all the way back. Though it may not be the first time I've been to these places before, I still attempted to not take a single second for granted. From snow drifts to tumbleweeds, we've been through the ringer with every kind of weather and we've embraced each with enthusiasm, I think.
I've so enjoyed meeting hundreds of the most beautiful, congratulatory angel-beings this past two weeks, but now it's safe to say that I'm more than ready to be home. Not only have I been attempting to book a venue, take photos, print invitations, and raise the money to make it all happen, I've also been trying to map out our lives with jobs and tours for the next year. All from thousands of miles from my sweet sweet bed.
Even as physically stressful this traveling has been, I feel so blessed to have been given such a resilient body that allows me to go from time zone to time zone, sweating to freezing, junk food to raw food, and everything else in between. A body that allows me to eat, sleep, run, walk, hug, and see as much as I want to. A few years ago, I couldn't even fathom that all these luxuries of living we're built with, and I worked hard to deplete what I could to look how I thought I should.
There's a word for ya. My therapist once told me that I had to take "should" out if my vocabulary because all it leaves room for is self doubt. Feeling like you should do something typically reflects what you think others want or expect of you.
I should go for a run. I should only eat what that magazine says is healthy.
If you find yourself struggling with self doubt or insecurities, try taking the word should out of your mental vocabulary. Try replacing it with words like could, can, or even want to. I try as often as I can to eliminate it from my thoughts and I encourage friends and family members to do the same.
Should tends to always make you feel like you aren't doing enough, and here's a little fun fact for ya: you are!
I've been so honored to have recently had an absolute flood of emails and comments about readers' struggles and how alike to mine they were. I find that these messages remind me a lot of myself at some points in my life, comforted by a strangers point of view and similar tale.
There's a network of people with parallel lives just waiting to be told they're okay. We're all here just scrambling to live this one life to the best of our ability and learn as much as we possibly can so that we don't make the same mistakes twice.
Enter anxiety; it exists solely rooted in a desire to control the future. To prevent, to omit, to commit. To cross out the bad and map out the good. To ensure a perfect life.
That's all anxiety is good for. It keeps you busy and distracted and blinds you from trusting that your future has an intricately drawn map already. You can hustle and bustle or huff and puff all you want, but at the end of the day your control will only carry you so far.
You have to trust that everything you need will make it's way to you. Everything that needs to happen for you, will! Trust your future in grander hands than your own and enjoy what you're doing right now, because if you don't, you merely lose it. You lose moments every time you're not present to live them.
So, let's vow to trust our futures together. Let's all calm down and be grateful for the fact that we're not alone in our struggle, whether it's the same thing or not. Stress is stress.
Let's ditch it!